I guess there's not much to be upset about, because I've been through this way too many times. I wouldn't say I saw it coming, but it was almost too good to be true.
I don't think I know how being loved by another person feels, (not just by anyone, but that special significant other,) and I don't know if I'll ever be content without that feeling. The sad part is, I don't think I have anyone to prove me wrong anymore..
Sometimes I feel like a dirty used doll thrown on the floor being kicked around the sidewalk, and it'll either end up near the sewer or on the road waiting to be run over by a moving vehicle.
"We don't change, we just learn to hide our mistakes better."
As I am writing this post, I'm tearing up.
It makes me feel extremely guilty because I know if I just gave my heart to God and no one else, then none of this would of happened. It's like I knew what was right, but I choose not to do it. I can hear God whispering in my ears, "I told you so" but not in a way to make me feel bad. It's more in a caring tone, and that's exactly why I feel bad. :(
I don't think I know how being loved by another person feels, (not just by anyone, but that special significant other,) and I don't know if I'll ever be content without that feeling. The sad part is, I don't think I have anyone to prove me wrong anymore..
Sometimes I feel like a dirty used doll thrown on the floor being kicked around the sidewalk, and it'll either end up near the sewer or on the road waiting to be run over by a moving vehicle.
"We don't change, we just learn to hide our mistakes better."
As I am writing this post, I'm tearing up.
It makes me feel extremely guilty because I know if I just gave my heart to God and no one else, then none of this would of happened. It's like I knew what was right, but I choose not to do it. I can hear God whispering in my ears, "I told you so" but not in a way to make me feel bad. It's more in a caring tone, and that's exactly why I feel bad. :(
I'm willing to bet 96% of people in the world haven't felt true love. If you think about it, how many people discover love by the time their 18? Even the people who are in relationships who seem like their in love may not necessarily once one thinks reasonably and that 3.5 out of 5 couples statistically don't stay together.
ReplyDeleteIn any case, it's better to have delayed gratification when you're truly in love than to have some false-semi-love. Some people can get into those relationships thinking they're in love, and then 1 year, 2 years, 5, or 10, before you know it, you're unhappy and trying to start over pretty late into the ball game.
Just be yourself and live life to the fullest and the pieces will fall together before you know it. Don't worry about relationships and try to fight through the little tingling feeling of misery, because you know that if you wait you'll find true happiness, not the fake stuff!
Sorry if that wasn't any help. I tried my best :[
Aww Andy :) Thanks a lot! It's actually nice to know that someone actually reads my blogs, still. LOL.
ReplyDeleteYou make me feel so much better, and you're right. Sometimes, I just can't help but think about these things when I'm alone. I usually try to think positive about my life though, especially with what I'm dealing with these days.
Thanks for spending time actually leaving me a comment and trying to make me feel better, I really appreciated it. ♥