I want to show you some clips from the movie, "Fireproof". If you haven't seen it yet, I encourage you to watch it. It's a very great movie, and it really touched my heart when I saw it. :)
Both Caleb and Catherine Holt recognize their marriage is in trouble. In what comes across as humorous, true-to-life conversations, they are actually both running down the other person and complaining about all of his or her faults.
Michael Simmons: You know what that ring on your finger means?
Caleb Holt: It means I'm married.
Michael Simmons: Yeah, well, it also means you made a lifelong covenant. You putting on that ring, by saying your vows. The sad part about it is when most people promise for better or for worse, they really only mean for the better.
Caleb Holt: Catherine and I were in love when we got married. Today, we're two very different people. All right? It's just not working out anymore.
Michael Simmons: Caleb, salt and pepper are completely different. Their makeup is different; their taste and their color. But you always see 'em together. And when you... Hang on a second.
[Michael glues a salt and pepper shaker together]
Caleb Holt: What are you doing? Michael, what did you do that for?
Michael Simmons: Caleb, when two people get married; it's for better or for worse, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health.
Caleb Holt: I know that. But marriages aren't fireproof. Sometimes you get burned.
Michael Simmons: Fireproof doesn't mean a fire will never come, but that when it comes you'll be able to withstand it.
Caleb Holt: You didn't have to glue them together.
[Caleb picks up the shakers and starts trying to force them apart]
Michael Simmons: Don't do it, Caleb. If you pull them apart now, you'll break either one or both of them.
Caleb Holt: It means I'm married.
Michael Simmons: Yeah, well, it also means you made a lifelong covenant. You putting on that ring, by saying your vows. The sad part about it is when most people promise for better or for worse, they really only mean for the better.
Caleb Holt: Catherine and I were in love when we got married. Today, we're two very different people. All right? It's just not working out anymore.
Michael Simmons: Caleb, salt and pepper are completely different. Their makeup is different; their taste and their color. But you always see 'em together. And when you... Hang on a second.
[Michael glues a salt and pepper shaker together]
Caleb Holt: What are you doing? Michael, what did you do that for?
Michael Simmons: Caleb, when two people get married; it's for better or for worse, for richer or for poor, in sickness and in health.
Caleb Holt: I know that. But marriages aren't fireproof. Sometimes you get burned.
Michael Simmons: Fireproof doesn't mean a fire will never come, but that when it comes you'll be able to withstand it.
Caleb Holt: You didn't have to glue them together.
[Caleb picks up the shakers and starts trying to force them apart]
Michael Simmons: Don't do it, Caleb. If you pull them apart now, you'll break either one or both of them.
John Holt: Caleb, if I had to ask you why you're so frustrated with Catherine, what would you say?
Caleb Holt: She's stubborn. She makes everything difficult for me. She's ungrateful. She's constantly griping about something.
John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done in the last 20 days?
Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, changed the oil, do the dishes, washed the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude, but she doesn't. In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, dad! That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks I have bent over backwards for her! I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, dad! I am not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?
John Holt: [John Holt strokes the wooden cross, and turns to Caleb] That's a good question.
Caleb Holt: Dad, that is not what I'm doing.
John Holt: Is it?
Caleb Holt: No. Dad, that is not what this is about.
John Holt: Son, you just asked me: how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected? Caleb, the answer is: you can't love her, because you can't give her what you don't have. I couldn't truly love your mother until I understood what love truly was. It's not because I get some reward out of it. I've now made a decision to love your mother whether she deserves it or not. Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him. Spat in His face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sin, because He loves you. The cross was offensive to me, until I came to it. But when I did, Jesus Christ changed my life. That's when I truly began to love your mom. Son, I can't settle this for you. This is between you and the Lord. But I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Can't you see that you need Him? Can't you see that you need His forgiveness?
Caleb Holt: She's stubborn. She makes everything difficult for me. She's ungrateful. She's constantly griping about something.
John Holt: Has she thanked you for anything you've done in the last 20 days?
Caleb Holt: No! And you'd think after I washed the car, changed the oil, do the dishes, washed the house, that she would try to show me a little bit of gratitude, but she doesn't. In fact, when I come home, she makes me feel like I'm an enemy! I'm not even welcome in my own home, dad! That is what really ticks me off! Dad, for the last three weeks I have bent over backwards for her! I have tried to demonstrate that I still care about this relationship. I bought her flowers, which she threw away. I have taken her insults and her sarcasm, but last night was it. I made dinner for her. I did everything I could to demonstrate that I care about her, to show value for her, and she spat in my face! She does not deserve this, dad! I am not doing it anymore! How am I supposed to show love to somebody over and over and over, who constantly rejects me?
John Holt: [John Holt strokes the wooden cross, and turns to Caleb] That's a good question.
Caleb Holt: Dad, that is not what I'm doing.
John Holt: Is it?
Caleb Holt: No. Dad, that is not what this is about.
John Holt: Son, you just asked me: how can someone show love over and over again when they're constantly rejected? Caleb, the answer is: you can't love her, because you can't give her what you don't have. I couldn't truly love your mother until I understood what love truly was. It's not because I get some reward out of it. I've now made a decision to love your mother whether she deserves it or not. Son, God loves you, even though you don't deserve it. Even though you've rejected Him. Spat in His face. God sent Jesus to die on the cross for your sin, because He loves you. The cross was offensive to me, until I came to it. But when I did, Jesus Christ changed my life. That's when I truly began to love your mom. Son, I can't settle this for you. This is between you and the Lord. But I love you too much not to tell you the truth. Can't you see that you need Him? Can't you see that you need His forgiveness?
How can you love someone, if you don't know what love is? You can't. I know what love means, because I've been loved by Him. He sees my flaws, but He sees pass them. He is willing to forgives me, even when I can't forgive myself. He showed me unconditional love, even when I don't deserve it. He even sacrificed himself, just to save my life. And He is jealous for me. ♥
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails"
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
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